Deadweight

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. Psalm 31:7

I'm not going to judge you if you cannot spit out a Bible verse on demand. What I might do is suggest reading the Bible a little bit more.

There are seasons in my life that getting into the Bible seems more less of a desire than a demand, and it does radiate in my own life. I'm the type of person who can quickly tell that something spiritually is wrong. I get anxious. I get depressed. I get overwhelmed. I don't know about you, but I do not possess any characteristics that are clearly defined as fruitful traits from the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Have you ever just felt like your life was a deadweight?

Just dragging yourself through one day to the next? That is how I have felt off and on since coming to school. Out here in the boonies, I don't encounter people with different faiths, which is something oddly I thrive on back home. I don't have as much time to do what I would like to do in my devotions; sometimes cutting it short to work on homework or hang out with friends (so some of that is my fault). I sometimes just want to be alone, but it's hard with hundreds of people roaming around in such a small area of town. And honestly, sometimes I don't feel like going to chapel daily to sing my heart out to the Lord. I rather cry out to him in tears and tell him what I mess I really feel. That is what a deadweight life feels like. Dead and more like a paper weight.

You feel useless, upset, and restless. You cannot look at the open fields ahead and see what you really feel like you were meant to do.

Have I had moments of contentment here on campus? Absolutely. But have I also felt useless to people back home struggling, forgotten to check the news for weeks only to find how much more this world is going to hell, and forgotten there are lost people out there who need the good news of Christ.

My heart may not be in the right place sometimes, but when it is, I feel like a boxer getting back into a match. I refuse to give up because I know there is hope to hang onto despite the way I feel. I refuse to give into the empty emotions because I know they are only indicators of a spiritual warfare that I have to quickly take action on. The enemies of this world will like to bring us down. So down, that we are not the boxer with a broken rib, a swollen eye, and bruised fists getting back up in the match, but we are the one who recognized his condition and just gave up. I don't want to be that, and neither do you.

Today, I read something that is very encouraging and promising for us believers. Read Psalm 37, and mark the times it speaks of the Lord protecting or rescuing those who follow him, or the godly. You'll be surprised how God never gives up on his people. I know I am always surprised to learn that he hasn't given up on me.

Seek after him through his word. Never give up on him because he never gives up on you. And never cease asking what his purpose for you today is. This way you will avoid the deadweight life.

"This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Homework: If you haven't already, write Bible verses down and place in them in spots you find yourself daily so you can memorize them. This is part way of how you can fight the good fight of faith. (1 Timothy 6:12)