Monday, March 26, 2012

My Name Is ______, But You Can Call Me Undeserving

The first time I remember hearing about hell was when I was about three years old.  a neighbor boy said if you had ever done anything bad you would go there.  I knew I had done some things I shouldn't have, so I believed I was doomed.
     I was in Sunday School most of my childhood, but don't remember if I ever heard a clear explanation of how Jesus had paid for my "bad things" until I was around eleven and had been attending a revival meeting and came under conviction and understood that there was hope for me after all.  At the invitation time I went to the front to pray, but I don't think I did because some well intentioned people, one after the other, knelt beside me trying to help me, but said a lot of things I didn't understand.  I left confused and not sure if I was saved.  I didn't talk about it with anyone because I felt stupid and was very shy.  I was "baptized" and tried to be a Christian for a while.   During my teen and young adult life I ran from God, but was in and out of church from time to time, but didn't feel comfortable there.  I heard a preacher say that if you didn't get saved when you first felt convicted, after a time God would give up on you and you could never be saved. ( The devil is such a liar!)  Thinking I was doomed, again,  I became agnostic for a time. (I didn't know how a loving God would turn His back on someone who wanted to be saved just because they didn't respond in a certain time frame.)  I was also looking for power in some occult things.  None of which would work for me for some strange reason.  I believe God was protecting me due in part to my mother's prayers for all of her family.
     I still had some of that junk, which I burned, when I finally to accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was thirty three years old.  The story of how I woke up to the fact that God is real and the Bible is the truth is too long to go into now, but the condensed version is that we were threatened by a group of people who were involved in a "get rich quick" scheme who were angry that we had spoken against them.  We really thought they meant to kill us. (Pretty weird, right?)  Out of all the craziness, I turned to the Lord for help and Romans 10:13 came to me, "Whosoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved." and I knew that included me.  Hallelujah!  I got on my knees beside my bed at 2:00 in the morning and asked the Lord to forgive me and take over my life and He did!  We went to church the following Sunday and have been faithfully attending ever since.  Sorry to say, I have not always been as faithful with my Bible reading and prayer.  But the Lord has always been faithful and there for me, even when I was less than deserving.  (Are we ever deserving? Uh, No!)
     My mother was a big influence in my becoming a Christian.  While I don't remember her talking much about her faith as we were growing up, she did attend church and was a very good example of what a Christian should look like.  After I was saved we had a lot of conversations about the Lord, especially in the last few years of her life.  She was concerned about our lost family members and would be happy to know about those who have accepted Jesus since she went to Heaven.  Hopefully we will be "salt and light" for those of our family that are still in the dark.  It is hard to talk to those closest to us sometimes, but we have to keep speaking up when we feel led and keep on praying for them.
     I do want to say I was Baptized after I was saved. 
     Also, I can say without a doubt, He does take care of His own.  Even the least of us!!  I could not make it a day without Him to turn to.

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