InSecuRIty

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” ~Psalm 27:1

“Then Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they couldn’t get to him because of the crowd. Someone told Jesus, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to see you.’ Jesus replied, ‘My mother and my brothers are all those who hear God’s word and obey it.’” ~Luke 8:19-21

“But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, ‘Abba, Father.’ Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.” ~ Galatians 4:4-7

“I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” ~ John 15:15

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.” ~John 14:15-16

I was practically a mute for a few years in my teenager. I could talk your head off if I knew you well enough, but otherwise, you might as well have considered me a mute. I was insecure about everything and anything about myself. The way I looked, my clothes, my weight, my hair, my voice, what I said, what I did—it wasn’t fun being a teenager. I always second guessed myself and wondered if what I said ten minutes ago made me sound smart or dumb. I would say I was egocentric in some form, and it didn’t help that I had a few friends and classmates who made fun of me or made some sort of comment at my expense for who I was or looked like. So when it came down to a period of my life where I didn’t really want to hang out with anyone from school, let alone my friends who were making fun of me, I had only my family to keep me sane; particularly my mom and dad. They were willing to love me unconditionally, even through my difficult teen years, and were my confidants. I’m grateful that I had them in my life because with all my insecurities, that wasn’t the reason they loved me or took care of me. I will be forever grateful for having them, just two people, in my life who were there no matter if my small world felt like it was ending.

Looking back at that time in my life, I am reminded of insecurities I once had with people because it seemed a lot of people were out to get me or were just not there. In the Bible, God describes himself as a father, brother, husband, guardian, and the very spirit that keeps us alive. Thinking about this, I can’t help but be grateful that if tomorrow I didn’t have my mother, my father, my sisters, or my friends, God’s spirit in me is with me. God the Father will comfort me. God, my brother, knows what I am going through, and God my guardian will watch over me. There is no distance between God and me. He is in me, beside me, above me, behind me-- wherever I go He is there.

I believe the reason God compared himself to all these roles is because all of us, whether we realize it or not, want these roles in our lives. One maybe is more of comforter than one we trust to be our accountability. Another could be one that is used to discipline than to be the one to encourage. All these different roles that we find in our lives are from God, so they are who God is.

I do want to mention how I know for a few of us, some of these roles weren’t stable enough for us to understand the unconditional or faithfulness these roles entail. Maybe someone grew up in a home with a broken marriage, abuse, or lack of any dependency. I know it’s hard for me to image sometimes why people want to hang out or go out with me when I felt like the ugliest girl in my class that said and did dumb stuff. However, I think that our identity is not found in what we were in the past or present, but in the future to where God may have us in heaven. Philippians 1:6 says, “and I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Our identity is in Christ. No matter who we are, God loves us, and unlike why people normally love others, God loves us without any reason given.

Think about this today. Who is God in your life? Which one of these roles do you need the most? Study the Bible. Go to Google and type in the search engine "Bible" and then a role that you need in your life today. I'm positive something is going to pop up, whether you have to play with the words or not.

I pray that whoever reads this finds some comfort and perhaps more security in knowing that God is with us, without one empty space in our lives.