Carry Me

Right now in my life I am learning there is a time for everything. God has allowed blessings and trials to come my way throughout my now almost 23 years of life. One thing that I find comforting from the last 7 years (since I've been saved) is God is ultimately in control. I'll tell you one of the last seasons in my life where I was on my knees in prayer, crying out to God to help me, was probably when Cori was in the hospital; the other time was very recently. However those two things are completely different because one was the threat of my sister's life and the other was battling myself over a sin. Something I had no control over (part of the fallen world) and the other was my choice (my sinful nature).

I don't want to write too much tonight about the topic of time, but I do want to mention something right out of the Bible about it. Ecclesiates 3:4 says there is, "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." I have days of "weeping", days of "dancing", and says filled with both "mourning" and "laughing." I remember days before Cori went into the hospital, I was driving to work and I had this epiphany of how God had given me a time of peace in my life. I thanked him for that, but then a feeling inside told me this was the calm before the storm. Sure enough a week or so later, Cori went into the hospital and my family's lives changed forever. No matter how depressed I was, I remembered feeling more compelled and earnest to seek after God. I wanted this to be used for his glory. In that attitude, I found peace strangely enough. When she was in surgery, I had peace, and I even had the peace that she was going to be okay. I'm not trying to say anything, like God will give us that assurance always, but I honestly had that feeling that day.

I'll leave off this note with a song that made me want to post this note in the first place, instead of waiting days to get my thoughts together on topic of time. I know a few of you are going through difficulties right now. I pray this song will encourage you as it has with me multiple times. Remember, there is a time for everything, and in this life most of it is going to be the time to "mourn" or "weep." The times for "dancing" and "laughing" are going to be in heaven.

The song is "Carry Me" by Jenny and Tyler. I listen to a lot of their stuff because first off, I'm really picky with my Christian artists, and they are one of the few I like. Another reason is they seem have a deep rooted relationship and bond with God to write the songs they do. I don't know them personally, so yes, I'm assuming. However, I assume because they're songs, particularly this one, have a Biblical foundation to them. I was listening to an interview today by them and Jenny, who wrote the song, has epilepsy. During a time in her life when she was on medication for it that caused her to have a depression, she wrote this song. I think of verses 2 Corinthians 12:7-1 when I listen to it:

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Even in her weakest state, both physically and mentally, she was strong in God.  Much like the Apostle Paul. We don’t know what the “thorn” was he had, but surely people around him could take notice of despite the weakness, Paul was able to do so much for his God.

Last thing, I love music. The reason I love music is because it has a powerful influence on us both emotionally and spiritually. Think about the last time you listened to a song (whether you liked it or not) and it got stuck in your head. You were meditating on it. Check out Philippians 4:8 on that thought. With songs like this one that remind me of Bible verses, I can continually play it in my mind and remember verses. Not to get emotionally attached to the beat or rhythm, but hearing the honesty and purity of the story and truth behind  the lyrics. I leave you now with the song that so inspired my note today.

Carry Me by Jenny & Tyler (featuring Mac Powell from Third Day)

broken-hearted i come
my cup is empty, my mouth is dry
see how quickly i fall
burdened with darkness
heavy in lies

i want to cry, but i can't
i try to stand but i fall down again

i need You to carry me when i am weak

o this can't be enough
to just say i'm sorry, to confess my fault
when i've hurt You so much
and now i am asking for You to do more

i want to cry, but i can't
i try to stand but i fall down again

i need You to carry me when i am weak

i'm always weak...
when I first met you I drew you in close to me
your weaknesses covered with strength and security
I've never left you, nor will I ever leave
child believe, child believe

but you are strong...
when I first met you I drew you in close to me
your weaknesses covered with strength and security
I've never left you, nor will I ever leave
child believe, child believe

i need You to carry me when i am weak